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July caption contest winners

August 3, 2010

What does one do when one is all alone in the desert and one’s internet connection is down? First, I go for a long walk. But the internet has been down for a really, really long time, so I’ve taken the opportunity to cut and paste and scan NINE of my favorite caption submissions from July. When, if ever, the internet is back up, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

The winner, offering incontrovertible proof that we create our own realities, is Ellen Mcdonald:

Congratulations, Ellen!

(Before I share my other July favorites I want to disclose that I tweaked a caption here and there. Nothing much… a word here, an ellipsis there… and no disrespect intended to the writers. I believe I was born to be an editor; I just can’t help myself.)

Years ago I worked with a very ladylike… um… lady who, whenever she had oh-so-graciously wrapped up a particularly difficult customer service call, would hang the phone up and say “oh, bite me, bite me, bite me!” To this day that phrase issuing from betwixt ladylike lips elicits a laugh. Thank you to Whitney Dyck for this caption:

Some of my best friends are vegetarians. Thanks to Debbie Jennings for providing me with the perfect retort should any of them decide to try proselytizing:

Back from his big co-win in the June caption contest, it’s Marc Bouchard! Did your wife see this caption, Marc?

Janice Sutherland captured exactly the disconnect I feel whenever Nathan drags me with him to Whole Foods:

What do you do when the local peaches aren’t organic? And the organic peaches aren’t local? When the apples are from Australia, and the asparagus is from South America? Are those free-range eggs cruelty-free (or even truly free-range)? Is there nothing in this entire aisle that isn’t made almost entirely of high-fructose corn syrup? I hate grocery shopping. Ashley Plate has the right idea:

But there are apparently those who enjoy the experience:

Thank you, Beth Kovar!

And finally, what’s a trip to the produce section without a double-entendre or two?

I loved this from Teresa McIntyre (another returning champion):

And this from Lisa Kliefoth:

Thank you to all of you! Please check the August caption contest image… and keep writing!

Filed Under Caption contests | 9 Comments 

9 Responses to “July caption contest winners”

  1. Beth Kovar on August 4th, 2010 12:03 am

    oh my gosh…..i am so excited right now! how cool that you posted my entry! my heart says “wake your husband!” but my brain is telling me “are you serious? do you know how pissed he will be? he will not be able to go back to sleep and he will rant for the next 24 hours!”

    I told my brother, mom, cousin, and a professor i had about this contest so i won’t have much explaining to do I’ll can just say remember that contest? Well guess what…..

    I was just laughing today at three of your retired magnets I have “I love the bitch in you” and the one says something like “she wanted to be shaken and stirred” and the 3rd one says something like “she enjoyed continually throwing herself in the path of disfunctional men”

    anyway i have been a fan since the get go and i’m gunna get started on august right now…..

    One more thing, I really enjoy watching reruns of the television show “Rosanne” even though i have seen some of the episodes multiple times, but that is who i imagine making the comment about double coupons….that show had some great one-liners and most of the storyline was pretty classic….i think….one time jackie (Rosanne’s sister) gave Rosanne advice about child rearing and Rosanne said something like “Jackie, when you start remembering to water your Chia Pet I’ll consider your input.”

    thanks again, have a taintoresque day!

    beth k.

  2. Tara Reffner on August 5th, 2010 2:12 am

    I actually have a copy of the original advertisement that this picture came from. It’s an A&P ad from WWII and she’s saying: “Imagine me, helping the government!” I believe it was to promote eating more vegetables since meat was being rationed, and I think it came with dietary guidelines.
    The captions are great, and I’ll think I’ll have a Bloody Mary too!

  3. Patty on August 5th, 2010 10:39 am

    Wow! This month’s winners are exceptional. Well done, all!

  4. Lauren on August 11th, 2010 3:34 pm

    I LOVE just about all of the captions each month but I especially love this one! Who doesn’t love a Bloody Mary?!? Are there any plans to sell products with the winning entries????

  5. donna on August 12th, 2010 6:20 pm

    My son, in his early twenties, saw this looking over my shoulder to see what I was laughing about,
    He is a produce clerk and kinda shivered as he said, “I know that look”, Shes saying “Why yes, I am a couger”!!

  6. Tara Reffner on August 16th, 2010 5:43 am

    Today is my first day back to school as a staff member (our middle school angels come back next week.) I haven’t seen any teacher related pieces yet. Have you done any teacher/school artwork?

    Tara Reffner
    Maryland

  7. Celina on August 17th, 2010 7:19 am

    Ha Ha Ha! These captions are flippin hilarious! Thanks to all the participants for an uplifting start to my day!

  8. Ellen Macdonald on August 22nd, 2010 4:32 pm

    Thanks for the positive feedback! It’s nice to know I’m finally rewarded for livin’ large the housewife life….and for buying soooo many funny Anne Taintor products over the years.

  9. Carson Maynard on January 16th, 2012 10:52 pm

    Lisa Kliefoth’s caption made me howl with laughter! I’d completely missed the caption competition on your site, but I’m having a fantastic time catching up :)

Anne Taintor