Anne Taintor- Vintage revisted
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Domestic Bliss

Domestic Bliss

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funny... I don't recall asking for your opinion

Anne Says: “I’m the touchy type. I should have this tattooed on my forehead.”

This caption is perfect for the girlfriend, co-worker or mother-in-law who always gives great advice…or to keep on your fridge or desk to let everyone know you don’t need any outside opinions! Find all the items with this caption here and please remember that you are perfect just the way you are, thank you very much.

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Mugs $9.99

Also available on: Magnetic Notepads.

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I truly amaze myself... this after five martinis!

I truly amaze myself... this after five martinis!

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?

why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Coasters $5.99

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on second thought... let's get drunk and order pizza!

on second thought... let's get drunk and order pizza!

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

Also available on: Coasters.

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bite me

Anne Says: “A very sweet former employee, who shall remain nameless, had her bad days just like everyone else. On those days, she would often deftly navigate a tricky phone negotiation, then hang up the phone and say “oh, bite me, bite me, bite me!” I made this little collage in her honor.”

We all have those kinds of days sometimes too, and humor, sarcasm & ridicule are all great tactics for stress management. You need this magnet for your filing cabinet at work AND for your fridge at home…trust me you’ll thank us each time you remember to hang up before spewing obscenities.

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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male refrigerator blindness claims another victim

male refrigerator blindness claims another victim

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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domestically disabled

domestically disabled

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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I dreamed my whole house was clean...

I dreamed my whole house was clean...

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you'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it

you'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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my garden kicks ass

Anne Says: "Before I moved to New Mexico I gave away my pruning shears. I was determined to let the desert be the desert. But it doesn’t work that way. Once you’ve disturbed the desert by building on it, and by walking and playing around your house with your dogs, it will never be the desert again. You either live surrounded by dust, tumbleweeds, and goat’s heads (if you’ve never stepped on a goat’s head before you’re in for a treat) or you make a garden. As I was gluing the words onto this image for the first time, an employee’s son, who was just starting to read, walked up behind me and read “my… garden… kicks… ANNE!!!”

I’m back in Maine, enjoying my first New England spring in 12 years. I did love the New Mexico spring – the sage changing subtly from yellow-green to blue-green, the tiny wildflowers all but hidden in the scrub – and I will be sad to miss the explosion of color in June, when the cholla cactus transform into “rose gardens.” But what a pleasure it is to stroll around my new yard and see green poking up everywhere! My Maine garden is clearly going to kick some major ass."

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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make your own damn dinner

make your own damn dinner

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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another day in paradise...

another day in paradise

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guess where I'm tattooed

Anne Says: "I get a big kick out of imagining what these charming and demure housewives would say and do given half the chance. Then I give them the chance. Before I knew who this primly aproned model was I liked to imagine that she had a dragon tattooed on her derriere. But then I “met” the model. Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance to meet her in person… but I got to know the lovely Susann Shaw Connelly through several phone conversations, and I’m guessing she didn’t have anything tattooed anywhere. But I’m just guessing.”

Next time you need an attitude boost for your day, try imagining that YOU have a dragon tattooed on your derriere and see where that vision takes you… if you already do have a tattoo there then congratulations, we think you’re on the right track. This caption is perfect for the inner vixens hiding behind aprons in kitchens nationwide. We’ve paired the sentiment with plenty of handy items to keep your good-girl disguise looking top-notch: purse-sized emery boards, luscious SPF-15 lip balm, adorable mini tissues and of course a cosmetic bag to keep your items neat and organized.

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Also available on: Lip Balms, Emery Boards, Cosmetic Bags.

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medicated and motivated

medicated and motivated

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stop me before I volunteer again

stop me before I volunteer again

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ta-daa! now let's have a cocktail...

Anne Says: "I admire a woman who can wait until after the roast is done for her first cocktail." Enjoy one of our favorite captions available on all the items below. Perfect for your cocktail buddy, your hard-working hostess, or anyone who needs a drink & a laugh...

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Also available on: Napkins.

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if by "happy" you mean trapped with no means of escape...? then yes, I'm happy

Anne Says: “Some people have said I’m too hard on men. And I’ve said “WHAT? I hardly ever even mention men!” Then one day, as I was perusing my captions and trying to understand what in heck some people were talking about, I looked at this image and a light bulb appeared above my head. Now I get it. It’s not okay to poke fun at sex role stereotypes!”

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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it's okay... I didn't want a real life anyway

it's okay... I didn't want a real life anyway

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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lactose is just one of the many things I don't tolerate

lactose is just one of the many things I don't tolerate

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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do I ever question your lifestyle?

do I ever question your lifestyle?

Available on:

Coasters $5.99

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why, I'd be delighted to put my needs last again

why, I'd be delighted to put my needs last again

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laundry! grocery shopping! carpool! and it's not even my birthday!

laundry! grocery shopping! carpool! and it's not even my birthday!

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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sign up for a life of drudgery and receive these free gifts!

sign up for a life of drudgery and receive these free gifts!

Available on:

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hopes and dreams would only distract me from making these awesome casseroles

hopes and dreams would only distract me from making these awesome casseroles

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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make your own damn dinner

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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honey, this asks for your occupation... shall I just write "ball-buster"?

honey, this asks for your occupation... shall I just write "ball-buster"?

Available on:

Magnets $2.50

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make your own damn dinner

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

 
Anne Taintor is the Original Vintage Humor Company