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if it's not one thing, it's your mother...

if it's not one thing, it's your mother...

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...and then the children cleaned their rooms, got mommy her drink, and went straight to bed. The End.

... and then the children cleaned their rooms, got mommy her drink, and went straight to bed. The End.

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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WOW! I get to give birth AND change diapers!

Anne Says: “I designed this for a dear friend who had her first child at what I thought was an insanely advanced age. (I think she was actually 39. Big deal.)”
No matter what age you become a mom, there’s no amount of warning that can prepare you for the mountain of diapers you will buy, change, wash, cry on, dress stuffed animals in (because they really, really need them)…etc. And while the experience of giving birth soon fades into a (hopefully) mostly happy memory, the diapers just keep coming, and coming, and coming. That’s why this caption is guaranteed to bring tears to a mother’s eyes and makes a great gift for all the new, old, and soon-to-be moms in your life...

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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because I'm the mother... that's why

because I'm the mother... that's why

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Also available on: Towels.

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gosh, Mom! I'd rather eat cat poo!

gosh, Mom! I'd rather eat cat poo!

Available on:

Magnets $2.50

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she couldn't even remember the last time she partied with adults

she couldn't even remember the last time she partied with adults

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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choosy moms choose beer

choosy moms choose beer

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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hurry, dear... if you miss the bus you'll have to walk 'cause mommy can't drink and drive

hurry dear... if you miss the bus you'll have to walk 'cause mommy can't drink and drive

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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make your own damn dinner

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

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I believe we have an opportunity to make some extremely poor choices

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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being a mom is fun but I could never do it sober

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

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walk faster... the children are catching up

Anne Says: “Nothing has brought me more joy than being a mother. However… I still remember the exhilaration (and yes, the anxiety) I felt the very first time I left my daughter alone and went shopping with my friend JoAnne. I still have the moss-green pullover I bought that day. This image celebrates that one small step away from total interdependence.”

All the moms out there should understand the feeling here – I mean we love our kids and all but we also long to pee by ourselves or jaunt unencumbered to the store just once in a while. Untangle that child from your legs, put on some walking shoes and celebrate your brief interludes of independence with this caption. We love this on canvas prints, coin purses, magnets & magnetic notepads.

Available on:

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make your own damn dinner

Available on:

Magnets $4.99

Towels $9.99

 
Anne Taintor is the Original Vintage Humor Company